I can’t believe I’m about to complain about treasure goblins in Diablo 4. Why would anyone mind them? They are loot on legs: twisted little demons who spew fountains of treasure if you catch them and kill them before they conjure a portal and run away. Downing one is like downing a boss, in terms of the loot that drops from them – it positively erupts – except you don’t have to run through a dungeon to find them and they don’t fight back. They’re suddenly just there, in front of you, prompting a mad rush of greed as you drop everything to chase them down.
Treasure goblins are how I got sucked back into Diablo 4 over Christmas. The whole game was giddy with them. Blizzard, clearly playing on their Santa Claus-like vibe – treasure goblins are small spindly demons that lug sacks of goodies around – decided not only to double the amount of treasure goblins that spawned in Diablo 4 but also increase their spawn rate, meaning suddenly these things were everywhere. And not only that but killing them contributed towards a collaborative kill-count which rewarded you, at milestones, with caches containing even more loot.
Reader, I gorged. I stuffed my bags with so many oranges – my colloquial term for legendaries (and fancy loot) – I couldn’t discern between them and didn’t really care. Drops that were once relatively rare became so commonplace my dopamine levels barely registered them. I think I salvaged most without even looking. And I couldn’t stop myself – I couldn’t stop playing. I was like a child in a frenzy around the Christmas tree, ripping at the game and goblins with a delirious desire for more. I was frankly glad when sensible January rolled around.
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But this morning I read, with rising levels of excitement, that Blizzard plans to do it again. A new March of the Goblins event is scheduled to begin today, 4th March and it will multiply the amount of goblins in the land yet again. It will even go a step further and not only have packs of goblins roaming the land – and does that mean they’ll appear in groups larger than two?! – and a meta-event offering additional rewards for killing them, but also new variant goblin types.
There’s a goblin that splits into goblins when it dies, like a slime; there are gold-themed, crafting material-themed, Obol-themed
and gem/rune/prism-themed goblins, that spew those kinds of useful things; and there’s – of course – a goblin boss, called Fancy Old Fedric, who’s going to be hard to find but has the rarest treasures of all: Mythic Unique items (and the hard-to-come-by Resplendent Spark crafting resource). For one more week, it’ll be treasure goblin overload.